|
|
|
|
|
 |
What is Trauma Recovery Work and Divorce Recovery Work?
In my practice I have developed a bodywork/bodylistening therapy that assists in the recovery from Traumatic Episodes and Recovery from Divorce and the end of relationships and partnerships. The shattering blow of a nasty legal battle only fuels the fire and can create acute feelings of grief and somatic pain. Women and men that have been in physically, mentally, or verbally abusive relationships strongly grieve and learn as they heal that they owned and took on the violent
attributes of the relationship.
The process is the same as grieving the loss of of loved one, only the one that you have chosen to separate from is still living. Grieving the loss can be much more challenging than losing someone to physical death, as the potential for shared custody of the children or a beloved pet keeps you in contact with them for many years. The necessity of having to sell a cherished home, divide up the memories, can trigger many destabilizing emotions and feelings of loss.
Whether you initiated the termination of the relationship or you were told that it was over, you still go through the grieving process, often accompanied by the the evil trilogy, blame, shame, and guilt. This can include quitting a job that did not resonate with your values, as well as being fired from a job that you loved.
We literally grieve our loss at a cellular level and use many methods to distract from the feelings that we cannot process:
*Throwing ourselves into our work.
*Excess fatigue.
*Feeling edgy
*Taking unnecessary risks
*Rebound relationships
*Excessive Drinking.
*Use of Illegal drugs.
*Obsessional thinking and behavioral patterns.
*Being on the brink of emotion (tears, anger, melancholy)
*Disengagement from support systems.
*Unexplained body aches and pains.
*Unexplained headaches.
*Poor immune system.
*Regular periods of anxiety and depression.
*Low back & shoulder pain.
*Poor coping skills.
*Feeling emotionally disconnected from your life and the people that you love.
It is an excellent idea to seek either private counseling and therapy or group therapy situations where you can have a safe and impartial place to discuss your feelings as you go through these transitions in your life along with regular massage that focuses on following the pain patterning created by the the trauma its self. For women and men that have been in abusive relationships, healthy and soothing Therapeutic Touch is part of the healing path and is, as always, at the comfort level and pace of the client. Having a regular massage schedule is as important as keeping your counseling or talk therapy appointments---the two work beautifully together and make the recooperative period much smoother.
There is hope:
Over the years, I am happy to say that I have had many clients that have healed from the inside out. It was a process of working with the fact that the trauma its self in many was only symptomatic in that it manifested from years of subtle programming and behavior---often going back into familial patterns learned from an early age. It is the cellular memory that can make you blush when remembering a humiliating moment in your life.
The tapes that play in our minds, "If I had only said this things would be better. If I had been more patient. If only I could have let them have their way. "
There is not only the somatic memory, but the chemical memory of the situation, which is why smell can sometimes trigger pain and grief.
I had one client that when he got angry could literally smell himself, infact, he smelled like his grandfather just before he passed away in the nursing home. He was only in his early 40's and surely was headed for serious health issues!
Healing is a choice that we make with each positive decision. Healing begins the moment that you decide that you are ready to release the old and negative ways of being and embrace new and healing thoughts, ideas, and models into your life.
Let the healing begin now.......
Want to read more? Check our 'Bodywork Counseling" in the menu to the left! |
|
|
|